Fear can be paralyzing: a constant companion, a debilitating force in a person’s life. I have never been a fearful person. Of course, I have been scared before – a nightmare, a movie, a dark street, forgetting to lock the front door while Hubs was deployed. But fear has been fleeting and never a nagging presence. I have always been able to shake it off.
That is until this pregnancy.
When I found out I was pregnant, I had just miscarried a few months before. So I spent the first couple of weeks worried about miscarrying again. Then, I got very sick - a blessing in disguise, because I didn’t have the energy to think about anything besides getting better. A few weeks later, I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat, relieving some of the anxious energy I had been having.
On Wednesday, my midwife called and told me that my quad screen came back with an increased risk for Down Syndrome. I have been scheduled for a Level 2 ultrasound at a hospital an hour away on Monday morning. Quite frankly, the thought of having a child with special needs doesn’t scare me or make me nervous. The thing that I have been thinking about the most is the health risks associated with DS.
I’m just curious why this temptation to give into fear keeps coming up for me. Please understand that I am not being captivated or debilitated by this fear. It just keeps rearing its ugly head more than I like. I decided at the beginning that the only way to deal with it was to take those thoughts captive and replace them with Scripture. This was the only way I survived post-partum depression after Bull was born. Thus far it has worked and has kept the fear at bay on some days and completely defeated on other days.
Hubs and I are choosing faith over fear. The beauty is that we can choose how we will respond to the circumstance laid before us. We are praying that the baby is healthy. If the baby is diagnosed with Down Syndrome, that he/she would have no health problems. Would you pray with us?
Are you facing a similar circumstance in your life? I pray that the scriptures that I have relied on over the last few months will encourage you to choose faith over fear!
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:11
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21
7 comments:
Awesome post, I am praying for yall!
I will be praying for you all, sweet friend.
What an inspiring post! I have always looked up to you with your faith and outlook on life! You are a wonderful person and we will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers!!!!
Hey girl, sorry to hear that news but I am very optimistic for you all. I have been told the quad screen will often show that there is increased risk even when baby is perfectly healthy. I guess kinda like a false positive. So I pray that is the case for your baby. You will be great parents regardless, and I hope, like you, that should he/she have DS it will not bring complications with it. I am gripped with fear every time I am pregnant. I am a fearful person, so being afraid during pregnancy comes as no big surprise to me, but it is hard nonetheless. I worry mostly about getting them here safely. I go from one paranoia to the next. Thanks for sharing the scriptures. I need to choose faith over fear. My doctor suggested I not have the screen with Alex since I would not terminate anyway, and I agreed with her that it was a good decision for me. I am too sick and emotional. The same will be for this pregnancy. But for some doctors it is routine, and helps some people prepare, so I see both sides. I hope that your ultrasound goes well and will definitely be praying for you.
That comment from sspurvis was from me.
You are loved and covered in prayers today! I remember the Armor of God and how important it is that we apply it every day. Our family has been under serious attack lately and yesterday we finally took our God-given authority against it. We stand between your family and the enemy and declare perfect health for your baby and that whether or not this child has DS he/she will be healthy and bring joy to your family unlike any you have ever experienced!
Praying for a hedge of protection around you and the baby. We love and miss you guys so much and know that God has you all in the palm of His hand. (((hugs)))
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